If nice guys finish last, would it be better to be a bad guy

If nice guys finish belastung, would it be better to be a bad guyIf nice guys finish last, would it be better to be a bad guyAh The Nice Guy syndrome.Theres a common misconception out there that there are only two kinds of men.Nice GuysBad boysBut nothing could be further from the truth.A nice guy isnt actually a nice guy. Hes someone whos afraid of speaking his mind and stepping on toes so he constantly obliges and panders to women, his superiors, and his friends in a desperate search for approval.To put it simply Nice guys are pushovers.On the other hand, bad boys are the complete antithesis of a nice guy.They dont care about other people and are completely caught up in their own world. They will push others around, lie, and manipulate to get what they want.Also No bueno.However, there is a third option. An option that I would encourage much more than being bad for a while before switching tactics.This option is what I refer to as a Grounded man.Hes kind, polite, courteous, and considerate of others. But he also knows what he wants, speaks his mind, and is willing to make other people uncomfortable for the sake of his mission.Here are a few simple ways you can kill Mr. Nice guy and embrace the Grounded Man inside of you.1. Prioritize yourselfPlain and simple.You are living YOUR life. You dont owe it to other people to go out of your way to pander to their every request and desire.Be selfish and put yourself first.Take care of your health and go to the gym before spending time with your friends.Work on your career or business and become financially secure before loaning money to your buddy who just got out of jail.Spend time developing yourself by reading books, listening to podcasts, and meditating even if other people want you to do something else.Put yourself first so that you actually have something to give to the world.Otherwise, youll constantly be running on empty.2. Set stronger boundariesThe nice guys key flaw is that he is unable to set proper bou ndaries and, as a result, gets pushed all over the playground.If you want to become a grounded man, you MUST set stronger boundaries.But what does this actually look like?Let me give you a couple of examples to illustrate the points.Example 1 (Mom) Im so lonely. I really wish that you would spend more time with me during the weeks, its be so miserable here since your dad left me.Nice Guy Of course mom, youre right. Let me come over right now and take you out for coffee *cancels plans with girlfriend*Grounded Man Mom, I took you out for dinner last Friday. I love you and I know youve been upset since dad left but you need to go out and make some friends of your own, I cant drive home every weekend to keep you company.Example 2 (Girlfriend) Honey, I dont want you going out with your friends tonight, you know how jealous I get I just cant stand the thought of you guys being surrounded by all those other girls .Nice Guy I understand honey, Ill just tell the guys I cant make it (for the fourth week in a row)Grounded Man Look babe, Im sorry you feel that way, but youre going to have to learn how to handle your jealousy. I havent seen my friends in two weeks so Im going out tonight. You know you can trust me.Do you see the difference?A nice guy will do anything and everything to make others happy even at thie expense of himself. A grounded man will not.3. Say noThis goes hand in hand with setting proper boundaries, but its so important that it deserves its own point.Nice guys dont know how to say no.They will constantly say Yes to any and every request for their time no matter how preposterous.Grounded men have a strong purpose and are willing to say No when they need to.You dont have to say yes if you dont want to.Learn to say No when someone makes an unreasonable request. Heck, even if the request is completely reasonable (like going out for beers with your buddies) but you have other things going on JUST SAY NO.4. Speak your truthNice guys will shy away from shari ng strong opinions or correcting other people.Grounded men will not.Although a grounded man doesnt go around looking for an argument, hes unwilling to compromise in his values and, if someone else makes a remark or acts in a way that is at conflict with what he believes, he wont be shy about it.5. Be willing to walk awayUltimately, a grounded man values himself enough that hes willing to walk away from any interaction or relationship if it is serving as a detriment to his quality of life.Whereas a nice guy will stay in a toxic relationship, put up with ridicule from family, or accept lying and cheating from his friends, a grounded man has no qualms cutting the relationship off and walking away.Its a hard pill to swallow. But its the truth.Stay Grounded.This article first appeared on Quora.